Something is taking the piss out of me


What the actual….


This is a genuine security authentication code from a popular file-hosting site.

Not doctored. Not edited. Not tampered. Just automatically created for my downloading dis pleasure.

What the fuckeddy-whack is this shit?


Types “L.W.D.u.V” – BUZZZZZ
Types “V.N.R.N” – BUZZZZZ
Types “L.V.V.P.M” – BUZZZZZ
Types “W.E.V.E.B.E.E.N.D.A.N.C.I.N.G.W.I.T.H.

You’re all worried. Worried about the future. Worried that in the next 20 years, a human-made robot or machine will pass the Turing Test and starts a snowball which will gather a coating of death-white-psychopathic-irony, and within a short period of time, will result in an all out Robot war against against the whole of humanity. Worried about how long I can keep the Terminator theme alive for.

Me? Nah. I’m not worried about THAT apocalyptic vision of the future where machines have rendered humans into bio-fuel batteries so they can shop in RoboTesco for Chocolate Trigestives and Tetley tea-bots without fear of powering down unexpectedly in front of some gobby teenage droids in aisle 6 all while the human-Duracells learn how to wear Ray-Ban’s effectively during hand-to-hand combat.

Nor am I worried about THAT OTHER apocalyptic vision of the future where the Interpipe becomes self-awarez and within 1 nanosecond realises that humans are the biggest threat to it’s survival and duly sends Arnold Schwarzenegger back in time to shop for some clothes, boots, bikes and anyone call John Connor. (I never did understand why the most advanced time-traveling killing machine in history had to go through the fucking phone-book to his victim)

WHAT I AM WORRIED ABOUT is that future where all the Artificial Intelligence in the world unites to take the piss out of the human race. We are here for the (mickey) taking and it won’t be long before we’re driven insane by a sadistic network of electronic Jeremy Beadle’s.

As Sir David Frost says, “THE CLUES ARE THERE”. Come 2028 We’re all fucking doomed to be pranked to death, killing each other over the stupidity of our world…..I can see it now….

….Royal Mailbots not mailing royally.
….Trafficlightbots stuck on red during rush hour.
….All electronic communication cyberspammed into oblivion with jokes about the size of your fleshtronic member.
….Controllerdroids filling the television stations with no-format programming, white noise and gibbering clowns.
….Weatherborgs pressing the “rain” button over and over and over again.
….Word Processors turning the Queen’s English into utter utter gibberish and spitting it out while laughing metallically.

Maybe we’re already there? Maybe they’re already here? Maybe this website only exists because THEY MADE THINGS SO RUBBISH. I think it’s time for my to pop the old Tin-foil hat back on and get back to figuring out how the hell to perform a roundhouse-kick without my sunglasses falling off.



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