Sonofabitch. That motherfucker pops up, waves around his blu-ray of Point Break (2015) and swans off into the sunset like nothing’s happened.
I caught my bell-end in the disc-case that day. Kind’ve a party trick.
At around 9pm I’d polished off five cans of tramps delight and my peed was in need to be freed.
Surrounded by tissues and rock hard socks (I had the flu), I broke my crusty shackles and crawled on all fours towards the nearest empty can of olden elixir in order to fill with my golden elixir.
Whipped the old fella out. Popped the tip over the can opening. Let rip. What a comic relief.
(Where’s the bit about trapping your cock in a blu-ray case? – ed)