Just struck me that a decade had passed since I rapidly descended towards my first fake nervious breakdown.
March 27th 2006. The site was first hosted at blogger – something of a popular blogging site at the time – although I fucked it off a couple of years ago for this less cranky palace.
On and off for ten years, with most of the content filled during the first five. I got busy people. Time passed where I saw zero value in this site. Equally, I was convinced by now-ex girlfriends that it was a waste of time, and by others that I was a genius and a romantic. I didn’t quite make my mind up on this one. So the writing dried up and followed other creative ventures. The waste/genius debate remains on those also.
I think that’s the problem. Or was.
My belief and my perseverance are completely linked. I’m very good at walking away from projects, people, work, challenges if I feel they are of no value, or if I feel I’ve taken them as fa as they can go. Something I learned from wasting a lot of time and energy. They say a fool learns………
Twitter and Facebook picked up along the way, with Twitter becoming my fortress of solitude- it certainly contains most of the ramblings which would have ended up here. 25,000 ramblings to date.
So it’s not that I stopped creating,
Having penned a reasonably successful best-man’s speech at the end of 2005 and subsequently binning-off my long term girlfriend after said wedding, I sailed the knife-edge of freedom and loneliness and tacked over to blogger. Just to get a lot of words off my mind.
It’s not that the words made much sense, and when they did they were a bit juvenile and shallow. Reflected the mild anarchy and little foresight.
I was reasonably proud of the content that started plopping out – still am. Probably more proud of the rate of content generation. Something inspiring me to pop these useless words down in my lunch break today. That’s where most of my writing was done ten years ago – at work, during a 30 mins lunch break. I’d spend most of the rest of the afternoon trying to edit it into some shape. Nothing much was done at home.
Which brings me full circle to today. Writing a little carefree during my lunch. Editing it about an hour later. Lightly.