Hardeners World – BBC1 – S1Ep1

Next up on BBC1 Daytime, is Douglas Trotts with the brand new bone-improvement show,”Hardener’s World”.


“Hello,  over the next six weeks, we’ll be exploring every aspect of the hottest topic on everyone’s lips at the moment – cock-pulling.  We’ll be bringing you the latest news, views and trends every week straight into your living room.  This is the place to be if you have any interest in Britains’s Disgusting Handshake.”

“For our first show, we’re in Gloucestershire, where later, we’ll be slinging string round the back of a well known supermarket, giving tips on how to shuffle in security and asking you the viewers to vote on your all time favorite movie shuffle.”

“First up, we go over to the picturesque Market town of Dersley, known to many as being the spirtual home of Glocestershire masterbating.  Tony Diddles has been with us here behind the bins at the back of Waitrose for about 40 minutes now.  Tony, welcome to the show, talk us through what’s going on here.”

“Thanks Doug, it’s great to be here.  Well, viewers, I’ve been here playing pocket pool for nearly and hour now, just tickling the tip of my wrinkled-sausage maintaining a one-quarter chubb pretty much consistantly for the entire time.  In about 20 minutes, i’ll be looking to finger a single stinking ball through a hole in my left pocket with a view to then petting the pony in full view of the Waitrose staff here. Witha bit of luck, I’ll be squeezing my horrid-porridge out liveon camera before the show ends.”

“Wonderful Tony, I can’t wait to see that.  I bet our viewers willbe keeping their fingers crossed for that too.  Tony, do tell me what’s going-on at the back of your trousers;  I’m no sailor, but if I didn’t know better, it looks like you’re poop-deck is covered covered in semen.”

To Be Continued….


One thought on “Hardeners World – BBC1 – S1Ep1

  1. Dr Koop says:



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