In March of this year, I had the good fortune to come across a stack of about 100 comics spanning the 80’s through to the early 90’s.
Tucked away beneath the not-so-glossy pages (some worryingly stuck together) were one or two adverts – mainly RolePlaying Games (The TSR / Boardgame types) and chocolate promotions.
Over time these RPG adverts were replaced by a new revenue stream – the filthy cash of the videogame industry. The chocolate adverts remained.
There’s quite a few of note and over the next few months I’ll introduce you to some of the more interesting ones. Enjoy the adverts and as usual, don’t expect any accompanying potent theological commentary.
The Double Player Wireless System
As we all know, “head-to-head” can have various connotations, particularly when two young men (as pictured) are holding their tools tight while looking deep into the each other’s eye with what can only be described as “Le Visage De Vinegre”.
Here’s the TV spot for the Double-Player System which accompanied the print advert: HERE And here’s a “right-on” comment ripped from said Youtube clip. Voted up.
“Look Ma, no more wires”
The Freedom Stick Wireless Controller
The Freedom Stick AKA The Double-Crossing Traitor-Stick, is an arcade game-type controller for the Nintendo Entertainment System made by Camerica. Fuck Yeah.
According to a popular directory of online innacurracy, it was a clone of Nintendo’s NES Advantage Stick, so Nintendo decided to sue Camerica for copyright infringement. As Camerica marketed the slut-pad as being “Compatible with Nintendo, Sega, Atari and Commodore” Nintendo’s legal move was definitely for the best as WhoreSticks such as this need to settle down and marry a SINGLE VG system before they decide to stick it in any old play-hole.
Aside from the fact that it looks exactly like it could be a Tim and Eric sketch (only less convincing) go take a trip down memory pain and check out the TV Spot: HERE I hear that dabbing white-wine will get it out without leaving any marks.
“Quick Shots for Hot Shots”
The “dude” thinks he’s fucking Maverick from Top Gun, later only to realise he’s Raymond from Rainman. Actually I think I just described myself there.
15,000,000 sold worldwide. Reason: Utter shit build quality. A single days play of “Daley Thompson’s Decathlon” saw me get through 33 of these fuckers. Wrecked.
So what ARE you waiting for? Wrap your fingers around a QuickShot. And become a real live hot shot.