BBC’s Antiques Roadshow is the fat momma to ITV’s ugly, deformed daughter they call “The X-Factor”.
If you think that the current televisual trend for sneering at undeserving & misguided scum-bags is a modern phenomenon – think again.
Who hasn’t tuned in to Antiques “fucking” Roadshow before see the smile wiped off the face of some smug well-to-do when they realise that the BBC’s experts have just valued their loot at £20 rather than the £20,000 they had in mind. Similarly, for decades we’ve loved the moments when a bin-man from Preston empties his belly-button lint out into the palm of our resident expert to find that his acidic-fluff is worth £700k.
Apart from this, BBC’s Antiques Roadshow serves no other purpose other than to have something to illuminate the front room while the whole family sleepily farts out their Sunday Roast. Modern, energy-efficient LCD television helps lowers our carbon footprint, while Antiques Roadshow increases the methane footprint to near-poisonous levels.
The beauty of using a lap top on Sunday evenings is that when one is so thoroughly bored with the state of the television in front of them; placing the lap top on one’s knees and lifting it to cover your view of the TV can convince the us that we have recently invested in a net-enabled, mp3 playing, HD-ready, porn box with keyboard.
Albeit with the room stinking of faeces and the theme-tune to Antiques Roadshow playing in the background.