Persian Balls

I have an issue with Iranians currently marching for peace. I do. A big issue. My issue with the Persian Protesters is that I’m jealous. Jealous that I see people with BALLS putting their lives on the line for parity, freedom and for what they believe is right.

Jealous of the FACT that the UK has over 60 million inhabitants – ALL of who are all capable of being opinionated and general gobshites (myself included), some of whom sit in the DailyMail and Sun forums, a few of whom are constructive in demonstrating their opinion, most of whom just moan.

Moan moan moan moan moan. No action. Just moaning about how we all know better than the next man who’s moaning about the guy who moaned about the general level of moaning in Moansborough, Moanshire. But without action? Moaning and no action. No action and a lot of moaning. Aside from it sounding like I’m describing an excruciatingly bad homo-bend porn-film starring Jeremy Kyle and Matthew Wright, it is all we collectively do. Moan and know better.

When there is action on positive subjects, there’s never really much press coverage (unless it involves eggs and Nick Griffin / John Prescott) and when there is action on more extreme left-wing or right wing subjects it’s always a handful of vigilante mobs embarrassing the human race. Ask the Romanians in toytown, Northern Ireland.

Anti-War-Protests. Remember me? Remember supporting the first protests? Then getting a bit apathetic about it all? Fuel Protests. Remember me? Remember supporting the first protests? Then getting a bit pissed off that you couldn’t get your hands on all that expensive fuel you were previously moaning about?
Like Aston Villa’s season, all the effort is put in at the start and the momentum simply never carries through. Needed a bigger squad.

It’s always pretty fucking difficult to wade through the shitty and scarce information coming out of Iran and to make sense of the scale or truth of the situation, but it’s fair to say it’s been on the cards for a long while now and needs momentum like Sega needs an enema.

Whether you call them protesters, rioters or terrorists. Whether you think the election was fair or foul. Whether or not you believe in the cause. You have got to want to polish those shiny, pendulous balloons hanging between the Iranian’s legs.

WE can’t even bring ourselves to protest in a country where you DON’T get shot at for disagreeing with the Government. Well outside of Belfast and Aston, anyway.

Our Froggy French Friends don’t seem to have that problem. That’s why we hate them; we envy them. Because unlike us here, they have impressively-huge, stinking, sweaty, hairy “protesticles”.

Wear your green wristbands if you feel like supporting “teh Iraianins”, but do understand that it’s green representing envy not just liberation.


3 thoughts on “Persian Balls

  1. Anonymous says:

    This post angers me.


  2. Anonymous says:

    validation code was


    cross between a persian and an iraq


  3. DrHamHock says:

    Taken from the Peracke joke book…

    “This morning, I was short-changed 50p in an Iranian corner shop.

    I didn't ask for a recount, just in case”


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