Terminator Salvation Rumours – THE TRUTH

For those you yet to see the Skynet Wikipedia Entry which is Terminator Salvation, let me indulge you in a few of the SECRETS, slotted in to moisten up the most hardened of fan-boy’s discarded “love-socks”.
So I made the typeface really small. Just small enough to not really hide the fact that this update (the first in a long time and the first in the new line of regular updates within this flea-pit of a website) stinks of solid-bronze-bottom-boulder…….

1. The Truth Behind Christian Bale’s Rumoured Script Re-writes….
You Ask “Mark or Erase?”

We Say…..
“Christian” Bale (Not a nickname used by Mexican lighting technicians – he’s known to them as “Stink-Tube-Blomp” Bale) DID get involved with rewrites for Terminator Salvation. Of particular note was his introduction of product placement from little know companies “I.C.S.”, “ReKall” and “Omni Consumer Products”. Director McG did make it clear that there were further rumours surround the appearance of Bale on set. A runner stated that he saw Bale “suddenly” appear in a “ball of lightening” and that he was “completely naked” asking for “clothes, boobs and scripts”.

2. The Truth Around Arnie’s Rumoured T4 Cameo….
You Ask “True or Lies?”
We Say…..
The Governator indeed makes a return as Kyle Reese’s Peanut Butternut Squash Monkey Butler. Apparently Industrial Light & Magic used a topography analysis of Heath Ledger’s death mask and a scan of Arnie from the cover of March 1981’s issue of BoobyBuilding USA.
3. The Love-Child of Linda Hamilton and Doc Emmet Brown is “Skynet-Squared”
You Ask “Rekall, Rekall, Rekall or Re-call?”
We Say…..
Sleep required…Losing the plot at this point..I’m sure I just saw David Carradine enter my bedroom, pop a belt around his neck, walk into my wardrobe and peel off the whole of his right for-arm just to show me “what I done”. I should really be worrying more about the blatant nepotism surrounding Tim Burton’s Faecebook friends list and the gigs given to Helen “John” Bonham-“Get”-Carter. No matter how much cancer the role requires.

2 thoughts on “Terminator Salvation Rumours – THE TRUTH

  1. Mute says:

    I know now why you cry.

    Great job.


  2. DrHamHock says:


    Wolfie's dead.



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