Welcome to the opening screen from “Soul Bubbles”by Eidos for the (what the) Nintendon’t (do) DS. That right, the opening screen, not hidden in the credits. Not slyly left to “unlock” after completing 10 hours of bubble blowing, slicing and guiding. Click on the fella and have a closer look.
Is this a victory for common sense?….Is this a victory for the Blue Skies in Games Campaign at UKR?……Is this just a piss take?
Does anyone who buys a game called “Soul Bubbles” really expect a free-roaming “glandbox” game revolving around a Hispanic G-Star named El-Biro who gets his kicks from rutting polygonal whores, running awkwardly away from their exploding car in a Versace suit and Adidas Samba, while Phil Fucking Collins plays on repeat?
Maybe we expected a pan-held bubble car racing game called “My Gran’s Turismo”: racing round the Low Speed Ring in the glamorous Messerschmitt KR175 or wizzing round the Grandma Valley Speedway in the powerful but elegant BMW Isetta 300 or even cruising around the Grindelwald McDonalds Drive Through in a tricked-up Messerschmitt Kabinenroller KR 200.
There is a possibility that the demented consumer (ie 95% of the country) may confuse this title with the beat-em-up “Soul Edge” involving a guy’s Hwang and it’s battle with a rubber-fetishist called Voldo. “Transcending history and the world, a tale of Hwangers and Rubber, eternally retold.”
We await the release of the (not yet planned) sequel “Our Soul Bubbles” and a suitable disclaimer with it too. Please don’t let us down.