Monthly Archives: February 2008

Airplane Stupid

1. Why is it not safe to unfasten our seatbelt during take-off and ascent, yet it is perfectly safe for the flight attendants to flog overpriced beverages during the same period?

2. Why can engineers design commercial jets to fly at 500MPH, but fail to stop Gameboys “interfering with the plane’s instruments” during take-off and landing?

3. Why fix a dining-tray to the back of reclining seat?

4. Why, even on modern passenger jets, do the exit signs look like they were made in the 1960’s?

5. Why is it assumed during safety briefing, that a airplane which has crashed at sea, will float on top of the water and not sink like a stone?

6. Why is the use of mobile phones (“bye bye mummy I love you”) prohibited in the event of an impending emergency landing?

7. Has anyone ever repeatedly regurgitated hard-boiled eggs?

8. When the cabin de-pressurises, why do Walkmans suddenly become prohibited?

9. Has anyone ever seen a sick bag being used, and what happens when it’s full?

10. Is it a coincidence that the airplane vomit-bags are exact the same design as the small McDonalds McVomit bags?

All your seat-back safety card needs are here at…