Scone Watch #5 : The Return of the BumScone

General Rules of scoring
For a “level playing field” the scones need to be rated whenever they become available. At all times, every time. The scone judge is never off-duty. Only sweet scones qualify for judging and the judge must pick the most ill-formed scone from the pile. Butter with strawberry jam are the prime veneers, marks will be lost for any other variation. Scones may be complimented with a hot beverage such as tea.

Version Tested
1 Classic Scone with potted death

Land of the Doomed, Moto M1

Tester was conscious before tasting.
Good old Frank Cooper’s Strawberry Preserve.
It came on a plate.
I looked a million dollars.

It cost a million dollars.
“Natural Dairy” Butter. To much butter-based ambiguation. Brand me happy.
Alergy advice: “Contains Milk”. Good job they said, I was hoping that the butter was made from the blood of virgins.
Dry and dry some more.
Crumbly because of it’s dryness.
Salty – it’s probably crying. If it wasn’t so dry the tears might soak-in instead of adopting surface run-off.
Completely dead inside. Once commuteaten it would be “dead inside, inside a dead inside”.
Fruit was dry. Probably used dried fruit.

“When eating in the land of the living dead the food needs to revive to survive. It’s just not good enough to allow the shuffling zombies to devour a sconbie so lacking in life that, when being baked, the kitchen oven timer rings out with the sound a single flatlined cardiograph.
More scary than the incontinent commuters is the view of their tongues still pulling the dried dough from their rotten teeth 10 minutes after eating, dry flakes of baked-death blowing back onto the hanging racks of zombieman uniforms, hooked over the grab handles on the back seat.
Damn, these cock-cakes are as dry as tutencarmun’s bandaged buns with a salty, sandy taste to match. Forget the undead, I eat at Moto services therefore I am in legion with the unfed.”

“I drive therefore I scram with the dammed.”

3 out of 10


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