“The new Olympic emblem is based on the number 2012 – the year the Games take place and includes the Olympic Rings and the word London.”
When it comes to approaching design and planning like a GCSE Design project, no-one does it better than UK.gov. Congratulations, you complete set of fucking tools.
“The same image with the Paralympic agitos is used for the London 2012 Paralympic Games – the first time the Olympic and Paralympic emblems for a Games have been based on the same core shape.”
What they are trying to say is that the athletes are different shapes to start with, often resembling a crumpled-up, incoherent and embarrassing version of the able-bodied athletes. Hence the crippled and confused looking new logo, soon to be found wandering around municipal parkland on Thursdays, rocking back-and-forth while shouting nonsense at itself, pigeons and terrified old ladies. Can we have an able-bodied logo now please?
“Available in four colours – pink, blue, green and orange – the new emblem is modern and will be dynamic, evolving in the years between now and 2012.”
Meaning that they know it’s of dog-shit and will need to sort it out well before the 2012 branded mugs, teabags and turdpaper go on sale. It’s nice we’re being shown a first draft. It’s almost like the public are being involved.
“It symbolises the Olympic spirit and the ability of the Games to inspire people to take part – not just as spectators, but as volunteers, in the Cultural Olympiad and more.”
Translation – we need some volunteer idiots to be “inspired” to undertake inspirational voluntary work such as:
a) Picking up burger wrappers.
b) Cleaning human poo off of the stadium toilet walls.
c) Fluffing the greasy oars of Team GB’s rowers.
d) Wearing a branded pack-a-mack and crying, while standing in torrential rain knowing the raindrops will hide your miserable tears, all this while 600 TV cameras point at you mockingly with studio-based sport’s commentators pissing themselves at your sad and lonely commitment to sport. A worldwide mockery in 300 languages to 1.8 Billion viewers.
e) Telling ticket holders to politely “shit-off” when asked for directions
f) Being told to “go fuck yourself” every time you politely instruct people to stop smoking / stop talking / stop standing / stop eating / stop swearing.
For those who have recently swallowed poisonous household cleaning products, or simply need a little bulimic prompting, please feel free to read the whole vomit-inducing press release here.