The Crowcifixion


Above his head they placed the written charge against him: THIS IS WORZEL, THE KING OF THE SCARECROWS. Two robbers were crucified with him, one on his right and one on his left. Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads and saying, “You who are going to destroy the farm and build it in three days, save yourself! Come down from the cross, if you are the Son of God!”. In the same way the robbers who were crucified with him also heaped insults on him.

From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. About the ninth hour Worzel cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?”—which means, “Aunt Sally, Aunt Sally, it’s me rheumaticky eyes what’s waterin?”

When some of those standing there heard this, they said, “He’s calling The Crowman.”

Immediately one of them ran and got a sponge. He filled it with tea, put it on a saucer, and offered it to Worzel to drink. The rest said, “Now leave him alone. Let’s see if The Crowman comes to save him.”

And when Worzel had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.

At that moment Ten Acre Field was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split. The barns broke open and the paper mache heads of many scarecrows who had died were raised to life. They came out of the barns, and after Worzel’s resurrection they went into the field and appeared to many people.

When Jolly Jack and those with him who were guarding Worzel saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exclaimed, “He is the Son of God!“.

Many women were there, watching from a distance. They had followed Worzel from Scatterbrook Farm to care for his needs. Among them were Dolly Clothes-Peg, Saucy Nancy the mother of James and Joses, and the mother of Zebedee’s sons.


As evening approached, there came a rich man from Scatterbrook Farm, named Mr Peters, who had himself become a disciple of Worzel. Going to Jolly Jack, he asked for Worzel’s body, and Jolly Jack ordered that it be given to him. The Crowman took the body, wrapped it in a clean linen cloth, and placed it in his own new tomb that he had cut out of the rock. He rolled a big stone in front of the entrance to the tomb and went away.


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