"Suck" my "Cock"

Better known for his “drumming” work in bands “such as” Helmet, Tomahawk and Battles, Mr Stanier has this week “quite” literally “rocked” the rock world with the “announcement” that he is to take a hiatus from the music industry “and” pursue a career in “real estate” or “real estate” as we like to call “it” here in the “Great Isles of United England and British Scotchland“.

“Quite” “why” this “internationally” renowned “unlover” of the “double bass pedal” chose the “Black Country” to start his “first foray” into the “industry of fuckchoads” is “unknown”.

What is for certain is his slow spiral into the dirty, nay wretched, world of liars, cheats, BMW mini driving nob-heads, spiky-haired, small-man syndromed, deviant freaks, coke-hoovering-scumbags, steadily fattenning like a digusting pregnant sow, full of bullshit and padding like a faeces-filled Wonderbra, money grabbing, single shit-caked minded, sister-perving, granny robbing, turd-eating-grinning, aspiring to attain ultimate cuntitude, innerly miserable, whacking-off over photos of clients and cackling, poking forks into the eyes of children. I could go on.

It’s this “certificate” of “certainty” which is “certainly” for “certain”.

We “wish” “him” “luck” in his new “venture”. You utter, utter, detestable”cunt”.

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